Nine years ago, Christel Thomsen's husband had a stroke. Since then, she has had to adjust to the fact that while he is physically the same, he is no longer the same man she fell in love with and married almost 49 years ago.
"I am a caregiver, I don't feel like a wife," she said. "It's hard for a caregiver to give the care a person needs and yourself - you usually help the other person first."
Learning how to deal with this new normal can be a trying experience for the families and friends of brain injury survivors. So every week, the Prince George Brain Injured Group offers a time for caregivers like Thomsen to sit, share and unwind when they get down or overwhelmed.
The Prince George Brain Injured Group is a 25-year-old non-profit society that provides services for survivors of brain injuries in the northern half of the province. This includes running a group home, providing one-on-one residential care and rehabilitation, and other group programs.
With 180 clients in its roster, there are hundreds more family members and caregivers who are working in tandem with the agency.
The caregiver support group has run steadily for years under the leadership of dedicated volunteer Gail Pratt. On Wednesday mornings between 9:30 and 11 a.m. they gather in a room at the group office on Fourth Avenue to share stories, information, drink coffee and - if necessary - shed a few tears.
"The group helps them get the support they need to maintain the inner strength and keep putting themselves out there," core services team co-ordinator Vicki Shepherd said. "Keeping that handful of people going is really important for the health of their loved ones."
Beginning next month, the group is expanding its services, adding an extra evening meeting to be held the second Wednesday of every month. The first evening support group meeting is June 13 from 6:30 to 8 p.m.
Virginia Dekker, who was brand new to the group on May 23, said the monthly meetings will be more her speed once she returns to work after caring for her 22-year-old son who suffered a fall.
"His life has changed," Dekker said, but the other group members were quick to empathize. "So has yours."
Pat Gilmour, whose husband acquired his brain injury after a violent beating two-and-a-half years ago, said both the caregiver support group and the other services offered by the Brain Injured Group have been the best thing that has ever happened to the couple.
"This place here has made me understand I'm not alone," she said. But having to work has kept her from attending every week.
"I can afford to lose that time off work on Wednesdays," Gilmour said.
This is a common situation, said Shepherd, and a large reason why they have chosen to add the extra sessions.
"A lot of family members are unable to come during the day because they still have to be the breadwinners or have now become the breadwinners," she said.
For more information, contact the Prince George Brain Injured Group at 250-564-BIGS (2447).
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