He's on his own, he has removed himself from his dysfunctional family home so he can get through school and achieve his potential, but he's only getting donated help.
Alexander Lenfesty knew he was being swallowed alive by cyclical lifestyles his parents were born into. Drugs, alcohol, acrimony, bad choices, lack of education, lack of responsible life-leaders.
He knew if he wanted to realize his true abilities in life, he had to leave.
So he did.
He is excelling in school in Prince George, while his mom, dad and other family members are in other towns. But he is living in borrowed and donated conditions. He cannot even get so much as a meeting of inquiry with the ministry responsible for helping young people.
"The ministry (of Children and Family Development) needs to step up. They have a budget for exactly this kind of young man," said Florence Schultz, a local woman who has, along with her son, taken Lenfesty in as best they can.
"Here's a kid who is exactly what that kind of help is there for. He's smart, he's hard working, he stays out of trouble, he avoids things that will get him off his education path. But they won't help him."
When asked if there are any programs available that a minor can access if they self-remove themselves from a problematic home environment, a spokesperson from the MCFD said: "every young person's situation is different and would be assessed by a ministry social worker based on individual circumstances. Without any specific identifying information, all we can immediately tell you is that the ministry's goal is always to try to keep families together - provided there are no immediate risks to the child or youth's safety and well-being. Rather than remove a young person from family, the first avenue to explore would be whether or not extended family and friends are in a position to provide temporary care. Where that is not possible, the next step is to take a look at whether foster care is the answer or whether a youth agreement (ages 16-18) or an agreement with a young adult (ages 19-26) might be an option."
Lenfesty is 17.
He would love to discuss a youth agreement with someone from the ministry, but each time he's tried, no meeting with a staff person is provided for him.
"Some kids transition to a youth agreement after having been in foster care and having had a relationship with the ministry; some come from other circumstances, and social workers would have to take the time to assess their family situation accordingly," said the MCFD spokesperson.
"That said, not all youth who are interested in a youth agreement would necessarily qualify. Without knowing this youth's situation and how much contact they've had with the ministry, I can only emphasize that 'the ministry's goal is always to try to keep families together - provided there are no immediate risks to the child or youth's safety and well-being.'
"For more information," the ministry staff person said, "the youth should contact the Child & Family Resource Office for his or her area (for Prince George, that's 1-250-645-3978). If after contacting the office this young person feels they aren't getting the services they need, he or she may then call 1-877-387-7027 and a complaints specialist will expedite the request."
Lenfesty isn't prone to complain.
He also isn't endowed with adulthood's assertiveness that even escapes many beyond the age of majority. He admitted that the inaction of the ministry only made him feel glum, not motivated to peel back the layers of government.
He is going to Duchess Park secondary school. He walks there and back each day, in all weather, from his borrowed home on McDermid Drive, the residence of Gord Schultz-Hill, the son of Florence and the father of a school friend. After seeing Lenfesty struggle to keep on a positive path in life, Schultz-Hill told him he could stay as long as he wanted, and consider himself a member of the family. But Schultz-Hill has limited means, and sees Lenfesty's life potential being squandered.
"He can't even get a meeting with MCFD. He's been in, trying to get help, but they haven't even scheduled a meeting with him. He's been trying since August," said Schultz-Hill. "He can't focus on his education because he has no income. He can't very well get much of a job, because that takes him away from school. No high school kid should have to make choices like that. The main reason why I agreed he could stay with us was his strong sense of family, and I mean strong. He'll do just about any job, and then the money he makes he spends on his little siblings who are still back with his mom. And he never deviates from that. He cannot stand being idle, and he has this amazing sense of responsibility. And his bedroom is always so clean it makes me want to clean the whole house up. He just needs help. It's help that's supposed to be there for a kid like that."
"It was hard on my sisters and brother when I left but they (his mom, stepfather and absentee biological father) weren't being good parents, and I was being expected to parent the younger ones and go to school and look after myself and everything," the teen said. "I had school. I knew I had to do that. But life was a mess. For awhile, all of us were living in a motel room. Where we were going to live was always a problem, and there was other stuff. I had to be on my own if I was going to get an education."
He had a roof over his head, food on the table, and peace in his daily life once he was settled in Prince George, away from the turmoil in his familial scene. He could afford little else. The Native Friendship Centre in Prince George provided him with basic school supplies (Lenfesty is aboriginal with ancestral kinship to the Lake Babine Nation in the Burns Lake area and the Tzeachten First Nation in the Chilliwack area). His clothes have been gathered through donations.
Lenfesty is accustomed to fighting adversity for his daily life. The first defining moment in his life was, at age 10, when he started experiencing searing head pain, suddenly walking pigeon-toed, and vomiting. The brain tumour doctors discovered nearly killed him, but after emergency surgery and intense recovery regimens, he is cancer-free. He is now doing his best to keep inner scars from forming as dramatically as the ones on his head.
