I don't know about you darlings, but I have a list of celebs that aren't allowed to break up. Ever.
I also have a list of celebs that I'm allowed to sleep with, but that's a different story.
Kyra and Kevin, Annette and Warren, Meryl Streep and Don Gummer, Tom and Rita and of course Oprah and Gail.
Up until a few days ago, Danny Devito and Rhea Pearlman would have been on my list as well, but sadly the tiny couple have reportedly split and it turns out it's because of Danny's wandering eye.
How could anyone tell they were wandering, who can see him?
A source said that Devito always got a lot of female attention.
He did? From who?
Clearly those women had never watched Cheers, because I wouldn't ever mess with Carla Tortelli.
Because Hollywood has lost all of it's creative juices, they are remaking A Star is Born. Really Hollywood? What's next? A remake of A Wizard of Oz? It's sacrilege.
Clint Eastwood is in the director's seat for this horrendous idea and he initially wanted Beyonce to step in as Esther Hoffman. Keep in mind, this is the fourth incarnation of the classic film.
They were supposed to start shooting the film decades ago, but then Beyonce went and birthed the chosen one. Blu Ivy, and Eastwood was too busy yelling at empty chairs, so B. will not be appearing in the film.
Earlier this week, Lady Gaga went and visited the King of Wikileaks, Julian Assange in the Ecuadorian Embassy while in London. There are so many weird things about that sentence, I don't even know where to begin. Can you imagine if Gaga and Assange started dating. The potential nicknames make me head spin.
Olivia Wilde (who?) is some brunette actress that was played the character Thirteen in the-show-that-wouldn't-quit, House.
She made a splash this week when she began discussing her vagina's reawakening after she met Jason Sudeikis.
I couldn't make this up lovebugs.
She went on to say that while she was married (to some unknown), the lights turned off on her lady bits.
So Wilde got caught giving her own vagina monologue, and now she is backpeddling. She claims it was a performance piece.
I have no words. What a dummy, just fess up to talking to your lady china and move on.
The Lohans are at it again. Just a few weeks after the blonde nightmare that is Dina Lohan appeared (drunk) on Dr. Phil new reports have surfaced.
To recap: Linds and Dina got into a fight after clubbing, drinking and smoking and God knows what else. So Lindsay called her pops, Michael for help. Because the patriarch of this trashy family oozes stability. Nothing came out of this mother-daughter bonding session. I'd like to suggest that the whole family goes to jail. Some DNA doesn't need to be spread.
Just when I thought the Jackson family drama was too much to handle, the Houston's trump them in creepiness.
Bobby Kristina (the original chosen one), daughter of Bobby Brown and the late great Whitney Houston has announced she is engaged. The 19 year-old is a mere baby, a grieving baby who only lost her songstress mama a matter of months ago.
She announced through the gaps in her teeth that she was enfianced to some kid named Nick Gordon.
Apparently, he was like a son to Whit. So that kind of makes him Bobbi's brother. Whitney is rolling right now. This whole nonsense is very Flowers in the Attic to me.
Until next time lovelies...
