Bride, the week before her wedding: “After my wedding, I am going to have my dress dry cleaned and then sealed up in a box with that tissue that keeps the lace from yellowing.”
This is the same bride who has agonized over the seating chart, stressed herself with determining the correct shade of ‘grey’ for the bridesmaid dresses and has chewed her fingernails down to the quick worrying about the floral arrangements.
Ten years later, the same bride: “My wedding dress is hanging in the closet with mud and dirt lining the hem, the imprint of my two-year-old nieces’ cake covered hand on the voluminous satin skirt and yellowing armpit stains under the sleeves.”
I ask you: Where is your wedding dress?
Mine is crumpled up in a cedar hope chest under three boxes of those personalized matchbooks and two packages of personalized napkins. Side note: 30-plus years ago, the go-to wedding table favour was a personalized matchbook. We also gave out traditional fruitcake wrapped up in a foil thingy and covered in plastic wrap.
Back to the dress… I never had intentions of getting it sealed up in a box, but I probably should have at least had it dry cleaned before putting it away.
Why do I even keep it? I hated my wedding dress! It had a lace bodice sweetheart neckline and long, sheer sleeves. I chose it because it was only $400 and didn’t need alterations. I had to wear a tulle underskirt to give it volume and a padded bra to fill out the pointy cups in the bust.
I chose to pair the dress with a matching hat with a big tulle bow that trailed down my back. My hair was curled away from my face as was the style, and the back was worn straight as my awful hat conveniently covered that portion of my head. Hospital-white nylons completed my ensemble.
I harbour no guilt for not correctly preserving that monstrosity, and I feel that my decision was justified.
Does anyone actually preserve the wedding dress? My Facebook friends claim that they had good intentions but never got around to it and their dresses are, a) in the dress-up box in the playroom, b) cut up for an art project, or c) shoved in a garment bag and laying on the bottom of the closet in the spare bedroom.
One place that your wedding dress should not be is at your mom’s house. She still has your graduation dress hanging in a closet somewhere; do not make her store your wedding dress as well.
I find it humorous that we agonize over that perfect dress, only to toss it in the corner once the big day is over. How much did you pay for that dress? One thousand dollars? Five thousand dollars? The accessories cost almost as much as the dress — where are they now?
For some fun, I Googled, “What should you do with your wedding dress after the wedding?”
Apparently, you can: donate the dress, turn it into a work of art, turn it into a play dress for your little one, sell it, make a purse out of it (seriously?), preserve it, and finally, you can always trash it!
Have I guilted you into doing something with your wedding dress? Mine is staying put, in the cedar chest, crumpled up amongst the leftover wedding favours. Maybe one of the matchbooks will decompose and light it on fire — problem solved.
Judy Kucharuk is a lover of sarcasm, witty people and footnotes, and lives in Dawson Creek.
