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'Our hearts stay in Odesa, but we must leave': Seeking refuge in Vancouver from war in Ukraine

"We just relax and close our eyes and think about how it's possible that we are Vancouver but we feel that we are in Odesa."

At the start of 2022 Anastiyciia 'Nastya' Shcherbyna had never left Ukraine.

The 27-year-old mother and professional photographer was living in Odesa with her son, husband and dog; much of her family didn't live too far away. Her son, Mark, six at the time, had just started school, and her husband, a sailor, was starting a new job.

On Feb. 13 he left for the ship. She hasn't seen him since.

War broke out days later, as Russia invaded Ukraine on Feb. 24.

Odesa, one of Vancouver's sister cities, is located in the country's southwest, a port with beaches on the Black Sea and home to just over a million Ukrainians. While it wasn't near the borders where Russian troops entered the country, that didn't mean the war wasn't close at hand. The famous Snake Island (where a Ukrainian soldier told Russian warships to "go f*ck yourself") isn't too far away.

Even closer, though, were the bombs, which landed in and around Odesa, starting the first day of the war.

Life in a war zone

Shcherbyna and her family lived in a small apartment, a place they rarely left once the war started.

"For 11 days we fell asleep in the bathroom," she says. "We didn't sleep as well, because we always read the news."

She and her mother took turns sleeping when they could, so someone would always be awake, just in case. On March 1, they decided they couldn't stay in their home anymore and made the difficult decision to leave the only country they really knew.

For her son's sake, they treated it a bit like a game, going out to the kitchen to cook or do something. When alarms went off they'd return to the washroom and sit under a table for safety.

"We sat with the documents, right? Money, documents, some papers," she describes. "We always were in our shoes and jackets because we were afraid that we'd have no time to go out."

Eventually, it got to be too much.

"My son, he could hear the alarms," she says. "He was always scared and so we made the decision to go away."

They made the decision to join family in Canada.

"In Canada, we have relatives who've lived here for more than 22 years," says Shcherbyna. "And they always say before the war that we must live here and this is the best country for families and children," 

From Odesa to Vancouver

It wasn't until mid-March 11 that they were able to leave; just Shcherbyna with her son, mother, mother-in-law and the family dogs. With only a few month's experience behind the wheel of a car (she'd only just learned and was only taking her son to school), Shcherbyna was tasked with driving the group.

As they left the city there was a frightening moment. Shcherbyna describes driving the car at around 60 km/h when a bomb suddenly exploded nearby and before she realized it they nearly doubled their speed. She later found out it landed a few kilometres away from where they lived and killed soldiers at a military base.

Luckily they were able to make it to the Moldovan border, which is just west of Odesa, but the car broke down there, leaving them stranded at night. Luckily a border officer offered his home for the night.

"When we got there there were already six families in his house," she says. "He was a very kind man and he helped us for one night and then we went to Moldova."

In Moldova, the group found there were no places to rent as the war had displaced so many people. Shcherbyna and her son planned to join relatives in Baku, Azerbaijan to begin working on the travel documents needed for Canada. However, the group was split as the dog couldn't go with them; her mother returned to Odesa with the dog. They were to meet in Romania once the documents were in order.

It wasn't until May that Shcherbyna headed for Bucharest in Romania, but even that wasn't an easy journey. Along the way she was stopped in Istanbul, Turkey after her passport was rejected (it wasn't a biometric passport).

"One girl from the airport staff said 'Okay, relax and please take care. I see that you are very nervous. You're crying and your son is crying,'" recounts Shcherbyna.

The woman empathized with Shcherbyna and let her through, though warned that they may face more issues once they arrived in Romania.

Luckily, on May 6, they made it to Bucharest and were able to reunite with her mother and brother.

"And in Romania, we meet such a beautiful family who sheltered us," says Shcherbyna. "They gave our family, a big house where we stayed for a month."

It was there the rest of their travel documents and visas were finished.

On June 16, the group, which now included her son, mother, brother, mother-in-law and father-in-law, finally landed in Vancouver, more than three months after starting their journey.

"It's like how we feel in Odesa, where the sea is," she says. "It's like the same sea air we feel."

Life in Vancouver

Shcherbyna and her family have begun to settle in Vancouver, since it's not clear when they'll be able to return to Odesa.

"We don't know exactly when the war will stop in Ukraine and when there will be safety," she says. "Life is going on and the children are growing and they need the best future."

Her son, Mark, is seven and is enrolled in elementary school in Vancouver. Her brother, Aleksandr, is 13 and headed to high school.

At first, they all lived with their local relatives, but luckily they found a place in the same neighbourhood; they moved this month.

"Our hearts stay in Odesa, but we must leave Ukraine," she says.

She notes that they're not tourists here, but fleeing a war. That said they're enjoying the outdoors and exploring the area, including Stanley Park, Olympic Village, and Kits Beach, where she says they feel the sea air and feel at home. 

Waiting to reunite

While most of the family has made it to Vancouver, Shcherbyna is still waiting for her husband to arrive. His contract on the ship ended on July 24 and he went to Baku, Azerbaijan, to start his paperwork to get to Canada.

At the same time, they're praying for peace in their home country.

"We want all people who live in Ukraine and who had to leave Ukraine to be able to wake up and not think about the war," she says. "And that they know the war is over and there's no killing, no bleeding, and the children will be in a peaceful place."