My favourite pastime as a parent is to use language or concepts above my children's comprehension as answers to their questions.
If one of my kids ask about a plot point in a movie they are watching, let's say, "why are Cinderella's step-sisters so mean?" I would typically answer something along the lines of: "that's because they are indoctrinated into the patriarchy, sweetie. Would you like some more popcorn?"
They are used to me doing this and their responses are typically, "OK, mom," and they go back to watching the show. It amuses me to do this and I am improving their vocabularies at the same time. This can backfire because as they are getting older, they are beginning to understand my nonsense.
We were driving in the minivan a few months ago and I think that the kids were asking their dad if he could drive faster (we were going to Nana and Papa's and they were in a hurry). My husband was explaining that there are rules on the road and that we can only go a maximum speed of the posted limit. My son said that he wished we could get places faster (like Nana's and his Grammie's in Langley) and I joked and said maybe we could go through an intergalactic rift in the space-time continuum.
My husband and I laughed (because we're dorks) and my son said, stone-faced, without missing a beat, "Portals aren't real, mom."
My husband and I looked at each other, surprised, and I turned to my son to ask him about his certainty. He looked me right in the eye and said, "They're not real." I turned back around, put into my place by a seven-year old.
My second favourite pastime as a parent to answer any question they have one of two ways: science or magic.
"Why is the sky blue, mom?"
"Science."
"How does this lava lamp work?
"Science."
"How do you know so much about everything, mom?"
"Magic... and books."
I have recently learned that It is just as hard to explain why Harry Potter can do magic as it is to explain what a church is.
"Why does Harry Potter have a wand?"
"Because he is a wizard."
"What's a wizard?"
"Someone who can do magic."
"Can I do magic?"
"Maybe when you're older."
"Can you do magic?"
"Yes."
Driving home the other day, we were stopped at the light at Fifth and Central and my son points out the window and asks me if that is where the Queen lives.
"No. That's the Sikh temple."
"What's a temple?"
"Like a church for Sikh people."
"What's a church?"
"The buildings with the crosses on top."
"I thought the crosses were for dead people in cemeteries."
"Well they are, and for churches."
"What do people do in churches?"
"Well some people believe..." I started to sweat. "Science." I said, definitively. "And magic."
