An open letter to the City of Victoria:
Greetings. I've heard through the white noise of modern news that you intend to get rid of your Sir John A. Macdonald statue. Setting aside the stupidity of scapegoating a man who died 130 years ago to distract from your own inability to produce peace, order and good government, I'm curious about where statues go after being toppled. In short, I would be thrilled to have him.
To be clear, I'm not paying for him. Given the ubiquitousness of taxes and the evils of "general revenue," it is extremely likely that a few of my dollars have already gone towards the upkeep of this statue. Besides, I too have a Status Card, and if my fellow subjects under the Indian Act are so infallible as to be granted every whim of their publicly subsidized show-trial courts, then by the transitive property, I'm entitled to have all of my demands fulfilled as well.
I'm dead serious about getting this statue. I'll drive down and pick up our founding father if I must. John A. Macdonald was a drunk, likely a manic-depressive, and a shrewd political operator, but he was not evil. Nor did he hold any special kind of malice towards First Nations people - amazing, given the times he lived in. John A. could have easily followed the policy of our southern cousins on the Great Plains - the tales of that slaughter still echo today in America.
What's more, our first prime minister was clearly shocked at the lack of treaties when B.C. entered confederation in 1871; had we followed Canada's precedents with First Nations, much of our current strife would be far less pronounced. It would appear that B.C. having its own policy ideas, damn the consequences, goes back over 140 years. None of that lies at the feet of Sir John A. Making him wear our own past sins is a crime against the undeniable facts of history.
There's another thing that bothers me about this double-think (not that anyone in Victoria understands what Orwellian language is). If Sir John A. Macdonald was really as evil as is being said these days, why wouldn't he and his paraphernalia be relegated to some far corner on our map to be visited periodically for remembrance of his "great crimes?" We do this in other parts of the world, "lest we forget" the evils perpetrated in the past. Perhaps we're not truly convinced.
Ah well, it's the nature of our times isn't it? We're too pathetic to achieve on our own, so we must tear down the accomplishments of our imperfect ancestors. What a way to excuse my own failings - just marvelous. And to have this spirit pervade not just a few resentful souls but the policy movers of cities - even the country - is truly a wonder to behold. Congratulations, Victoria, on finding a way to blame the dead for the problems of the living.
Because it's 2018.
Mark my words: the iconoclasts of today will be the statues of tomorrow; you will not be spared the hard judgment of history and your precedent will surely be visited upon you. If only you'd taken classics instead of pathetic, hyphenated courses taught by pseudo-academics. The only thing we know for sure from the last 5,000 plus years is that human nature doesn't change and all political utopias result in catastrophe. Historical revisionism has never helped anyone.
I hold no illusions about our first prime minister, which is why if you're hell bent on being rid of him I'll happily provide a place of rest. He built a bilingual, democratic country of separated powers when it was just half a continent of raw wilderness. And when B.C. demanded a railway, he made it the sole focus of the national government; his commitment eventual cost him his office, inaugurating all future political scandals.
Sir John A. Macdonald truly fathered Canada.
Please let me know where to pick him up. I doubt he'll be with me long; I can already hear the chant of the crowd on his day of restoration: "the old flag, the old policy, the old leader."
