When I was in third grade, my teacher told our class about the adage that March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb.
This was accompanied by the blank stares of twenty or so eight-year-olds who did not understand the subtleties of either clichs or similes. Fast-forward, a few years (more than twenty but less than thirty) and I find myself clichs to my own children. This will not be a new hobby for me as you can imagine.
March is named for the Latin god of war, Mars, and unlike February, March gives us in the northern hemisphere some hope for an eventual spring.
When I remember that March is named for a warmongering god, it gives me hope that I will eventually win the biggest spring battle associated with pet-owners: the horrific annual spring clean-up of the backyard. Rather than tackling that particular job all at once, I prefer to watch the eventual thaw out my window and pretend that my yard belongs to the neighbour.
If you never lower your eyes beyond the treeline, you cannot even see all the work that needs to be done.
Rather than go outside and actually clean up the yard, I have instead decided to start planning my garden for the apocalypse.
There are a few reasons that I think that my apocalyptic garden is necessary this year: No. 1 - Trump and No. 2 - the mini earthquakes happening down around Vancouver. When the Lower Mainland got all of their snow and the city was shut down (poor babies), an unintended by-product of this was the highways shutting down.
Prince George grocery stores were running out of food and even Canada Post couldn't deliver mail.
It scared me a bit to think that if a catastrophe actually hits that our town will run out of food within a week. To that end, I have been reading a great book that I picked up at a garage sale a few summers ago called The Vegetable Encyclopedia and Gardener's Guide by Victor A. Tiedjens, Ph. D.Do not be fooled by the extremely boring title.This book was published in 1943 and is filled with a lot of very practical tips about gardening in the middle of wartime.
The author is very concerned with rationing and the "tremendous need for processed vegetables for our armed forces" and recommends vegetable gardening as a way to combat rationing and to donate to the cause or to donate to a neighbour.
The author says that "there is a wonderful opportunity for high school boys to try their hands at gardening under the guidance of a 4-H club instructor." Not being a high school boy or having a 4-H instructor at my disposal, I feel fairly confident that I can follow the instructions within the book to grow a vegetable garden to feed my family (with a little left over for the cause).
Dr. Tiedjens is concerned about the seed shortages and the lack of fertilizer available and he says that "one who has access to barnyard manure is fortunate and should take advantage of it." To my everlasting sadness, I don't think that
Dr. Teidjens was talking about manure from a large dog.
I take comfort in his words regardless: "During times of emergency, it is a patriotic duty and a necessity to have a garden and grow enough vegetables so that we don't have to buy them unless we can do so from the neighbour's boy who has a garden as a 4-H project and is doing his share, as we are all trying to do ours, to aid in the drive for victory."
I wonder if that neighbour's boy will come over and make sure that my garden stays watered?
