Sensitive men are finally allowed. It takes a real man to shed tears without shame in public, the saying now goes.
And that sentiment reaches all the way to the top.
The New York Times ran a story this week about Barack Obama's recent waterworks, over everything from the death of the 46-year-old son of Vice-President Joe Biden to the thought of his two teenage daughters becoming adults.
And it's got nothing to do with being on the left or right side of the political fence. The same Times article points out that House Speaker John Boehner is well known for "a misty eye and a quivering lip" in moments both public and private.
In Canada, more than a few tears were shed by MPs last spring when the sudden death of former finance minister Jim Flaherty was announced. Prime Minister Stephen Harper and Opposion Leader Tom Mulcair both held it together - barely - when making public statements about Flaherty. Mulcair was utterly unsuccessful in holding in his grief three years earlier, during the state funeral for Jack Layton.
Tears are no longer a liability or a sign of weakness in male or female leaders in both the political and business world. In fact, tears are the sign of emotional engagement, someone who cares deeply about their colleagues, their staff and their job. The Times article points out how Obama was seen as cold and distant during his first term but now, with 18 months left in his presidency, he's allowing himself to be more emotional. In other words, not expressing emotion when appropriate is now something to criticize. Instead of being perceived as strength, as it has for so long, it's a sign of distance and even callousness.
Public tears are now OK in Prince George, too. On election night last fall, Lyn Hall's voice cracked several times when thanking his wife Lorelle, his twin daughters Sydney and Jordan, and his campaign manager Michelle Marelli. When Citizen reporter Charelle Evelyn conducted a year-end questionnaire with the new mayor and council, the new mayor listed his family as the best gift he's ever received.
"Are you trying to get a tear in my eye? As you probably have found out during a couple of acceptance speeches I'm a pretty emotional guy at times," he told Evelyn in an interview.
Hall is hardly the only one.
At UNBC 25th anniversary celebrations last weekend, the Unger family of Burns Lake shared their connection to UNBC, starting with signing the petition and donating $5 to the Interior University Society in 1998 to today, where all three of their children are attending or have graduated from UNBC. New president Dan Weeks took the stage and immediately apologized for two things he said he's acquiring a reputation for doing - weeping and going off-script. At the end of his 25-minute speech, he prefaced a poignant story about a UNBC donor with a comment that even though he's told the same story several times in public, it still brings him to tears.
The common denominator here is middle-aged men and I include myself in this weepy demographic. My voice cracked last year when informing staff of the cancer diagnosis of a beloved Citizen staff member. An incredibly thoughtful Christmas gift prompted some rapid eye-blinking this past year and a heartfelt, homemade Father's Day card from my 11-year-old step-daughter last weekend brought the same response.
With that in mind, I have no idea what will happen this morning at the grand opening of the new courts at the Prince George Tennis Club. One of the courts has been dedicated to Matt Altizer, a well-known tennis aficionado. Matt was the systems manager at the Citizen when he was killed in a horrible highway accident, along with his sister, his wife and their two children in early 2012. They had been driving to Vancouver to take in some Davis Cup tennis matches. On behalf of the entire Citizen family, I'll be accepting a plaque of thanks from the club for our support and I've been asked to say a few words.
That won't be easy.
Wimbledon starts this weekend in London and it's during the four annual tennis majors that I miss Matt the most because I would park myself in his office/cave/workshop in the back of the building the week before the start of the Australian Open, the French Open, Wimbledon and the U.S. Open and ask him who he liked to win and who were the young upstarts to keep an eye on.
All I know is that the Matt Altizer court is a fitting tribute to a great guy who is still missed by many.
He's worth every sniffle.
-- Managing editor Neil Godbout
