As part of the human condition, we all experience hurt in some way shape or form.
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful actions a person can do. It is also very misunderstood. According to T.D. Jakes, "We think that forgiveness is weakness, but it is absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive."
What happens when we do not forgive? We carry resentment and anger inside of us. We carry vengeance and pain. These thoughts poison our minds and even our bodies. The person who hurt us may not even be aware that they have done something wrong. Perhaps they are aware and are sorry, but are unable to find us to tell us. Maybe the other person is indeed completely culpable and refuses to take responsibility. We do not know, and we do not have any control over that. What we do have control over is ourselves, our own thoughts.
Stormie Omartian tells us, "Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right, it makes us free." Several examples illustrate the truth and power in this statement.
Rubin Carter spent 19 years in prison for a murder he did not commit. He refused to be bitter. Instead, once released, he spent the rest if his life advocating for others who had been wrongfully convicted. His forgiveness did not make those who had put him in prison right, but it did make him free and it brought freedom to many others.
Immaculee Ilibagiza lost most of her family in the 1994 Rwandan genocide. When she visited a prison and met face to face with the man who had killed her mother and brother, she looked him in the eye and forgave him. She went on to work with the United Nations in bringing peace and justice to her country, and now inspires others to forgive and to live life to the fullest through her books and public speaking. What happened to her is clearly wrong, but her forgiveness has set her free. Her message inspires all who hear it and brings healing to the world.
Perhaps the most powerful example of forgiveness, however, occurred when Jesus of Nazareth was executed. Just before his death he said, "Forgive them for they know not what they do." He is so right. Very often those who hurt us do not know what they are doing. Regardless of one's religious beliefs, it is impossible to deny the power and wisdom of this man's message.
We too can free ourselves by forgiving those who have hurt us. In doing so, we in no way justify the wrongs which have been done to us. Instead we acknowledge and give meaning to the suffering we have endured. In doing so we actually gain power over the crimes committed against us. Gandhi is right, "Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."
