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Death of classmate inspires message

As summer ends and school begins, it has reached my ears that yet another member of the Duchess Park 2008 cadre has left this life. The name and details are not mine to share - those who need to know, do know.
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As summer ends and school begins, it has reached my ears that yet another member of the Duchess Park 2008 cadre has left this life.

The name and details are not mine to share - those who need to know, do know.

But by my count, that brings the total mortality rate of my graduating class to three people out of about 150, all under 30, before our tenth anniversary. It is certainly not what any of us would have hoped for as we walked the stage many years ago.

Though I was never the embodiment of any kind of popular ethic at Duchess Park, in 2008 I was acclaimed co-valedictorian with Kirsten Bigelow who, like her late mother, Janet, is an excellent communicator capable of connecting with anyone. She was kind enough to share the podium with me and wax nostalgic on that exciting day in June. Since then, she's done a much better job of keeping tabs on and supporting our cohort, a role I've all but abdicated.

That is written simply to clarify that I hold no delusions about my position relative to the graduating class itself, let alone those who have died and their families. But the fact remains that I once walked the halls with these same people who are no longer with us, and in an age of abundance as well as modern medicine, too many of our classmates have met untimely ends. I do not claim to speak for anyone else but I do claim to say that something must be said.

First and foremost, I would like to say to the families that your children are missed. In the old Duchess Park, John Donne's Meditation 17 was inscribed on the wall: "any man's death diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind." I am truly sorry that I will not see your beloved family member next year when many of us will gather to recollect and reconnect after 10 years.

Second, to my classmates, I'd like to remind all of us that in our age of instant connection, it is a sad fact that we can still live in unhealthy isolation, perhaps even feeling we have no one to turn to for help. I am not advocating a class-wide group chat. But I am saying that if any of us have a friend we haven't checked in on in awhile, it's likely time for a phone call or coffee. No amount of hotlines nor goodwill can ever replace the buddy system.

Finally, to those in the midst of trying times themselves or who feel particularly affected by the departed, I will echo the words of St. John Paul the Great: "be not afraid." It is right for us to feel saddened every time one of our comrades is lost, but it is not right for us to take their deaths as an excuse to stop living life ourselves. Life is difficult, even chaotic at times, but it is not absurd. There is always a redemptive path to be taken. Please, don't give into despair.

That is all the encouragement that I can offer, particularly given my own failings in this area of communication and solidarity. There is no perfect solution to the tragedy that pervades our world and, in this instance, has struck so close to home for many of us. But we can choose how we will face our own or other's mortality - let us pray that we choose to face it with courage.