Skip to content
Join our Newsletter

Fear often underlying cause of domestic violence

More often than not, men are the perpetrators of domestic violence - but they can combat the problem too. That was the message Wednesday, when a workshop on the issue was held as part of National Victims of Crime Awareness Week in Prince George.

More often than not, men are the perpetrators of domestic violence - but they can combat the problem too.

That was the message Wednesday, when a workshop on the issue was held as part of National Victims of Crime Awareness Week in Prince George.

"It's about getting more education about where it starts, who it affects, how far it goes," said Susan Tapp, a victims service worker with the Prince George and District Elizabeth Fry Society.

A good source is endingviolence.org, hosted by the End Violence Association of B.C., where visitors can find a video produced with help of the B.C. Lions football team that gives tips on what to do when facing a potentially violent situation.

Those tips range from not joining in if a friend hollers a cat call out to a woman walking down the street to intervening in an argument and generally speaking up and not succumbing to peer pressure.

Often the roots of a domestic violence incident is found in an overwhelming need to put on a tough exterior to hide some insecurity.

"It mostly comes from fear," Tapp said of what often causes men to lash out. "When you peel the onion, it always come down to fear - what are they afraid of. Afraid of being rejected, afraid of being abandoned, afraid of what maybe happened in childhood is going to happen again.

"So if I keep everything close and controlled...then I don't have this fear, I don't show that I don't have high self esteem or self worth."

Admitting to those fears is often the first step towards ending the cycle.

"It doesn't have as much power over you anymore," said Cindy West, also a victims service worker with the Prince George and District Elizabeth Fry Society. "People can talk to you about strategies and tools and tricks that can help you."

Two more workshops are scheduled for this week:

- On Thursday, "Safe?," a breakfast workshop on how men can combat sexual violence will be held at the Native Friendship Centre from 9-11 a.m.

- On Friday, "Say No to a Hit," a workshop exploring the issues around gangs, will be held at the Family Resource Centre, 1200 La Salle Ave. from 9-11 a.m.

All the events are free to the public.