You have been an excellent next door neighbour over the years, I feel like I can take you into my confidence like a trusted friend. I am having a terrible time with my better half, southern B.C. He has been throwing the odd bone to keep me quiet over the last 40 years, but the relationship is mostly one way - take from me, use my resources, and pretend I don't exist. I need a divorce. I feel that you would make a much better spouse in the long term.
Here's what I expect to gain by shifting my alliances from south to east:
1. Four-lane highways from Tete Jaune to Prince Rupert and from Prince George to Fort Nelson, which, judging by the highways on your hallowed soil, will not be an issue; each time I visit your lovely lands you have put down more new pavement than those two little projects would require.
2. A swimming pool, skate park, modest movie theater and some bowling lanes in each community with 1,000 or more population, which currently do not exist by the way southern hubby acts, would be a lovely wedding gift too.
Here's what I can offer to our relationship:
1. A wilderness playground.
2. A minimum of $52 billion in short term industry, mining and forestry expansions, according to one enthusiastic politician, with ten times that much in my long term outlook.
3. A direct link to the Pacific, and its rim countries. (For your oil and petroleum products of course. Much as I am a bit finicky about oil and pipelines, I do understand the need to back up a rich, caring spouse's ventures. I am sure we will learn to live with each others' foibles about oil...)
4. If you separate those highway lanes enough, there will be lots of room for three or four different pipelines to run right down the middle. Of course, they will need to be buried, and all the substations will need to be surrounded by high cement walls to obstruct the unsightly views and potential bombers, but between the roads guarantees your little pipelines will have 24 hour surveillance by alert drivers.
There's more to say, but I'm running out of time and room, so what do you think Alberta, will you marry me?
Sincerely, lovingly, longingly,