In a week that has been obsessed with Princess Kate's bangers and mash, it leaves me feeling flat. As Billy would say, they are much ado about nothing.
Can we move on? Now if anyone has pictures of Pippa's pippas then we might have something to talk about.
The most famous other-woman, Monica Lewinsky, felt that her life and reputation weren't quite at the bottom of the humidor, so she's writing a tell-all book. I'm sure it will be a marvelously captivating read. One wonders where she finds the time to pen such prose, when she's so busy hawking her wares on QVC.
Amanda Bynes was once half-famous. She isn't anymore and it seems that she isn't taking the news very well. This child has been arrested five times for several driving booboos, and yet she continues to get behind the wheel. Where are the baby's parents? There needs to be some Spears-like court motions immediately. Of course, the winner of Hollywood stability, Lindsay Lohan, got upset because Bynes didn't get in as much trouble as she did. I bet Linds complains when her rails aren't as thick as her friends as well. Everybody back to your corners.
In tales from the wig crypt, the devilishly handsome Denzel Washington (even his name is good looking), appears on a special issue of GQ magazine.
He is looking handsome in the blue-stiped suit. But I am concerned. Perhaps Pauletta isn't getting her needs met at home, because Denz is clearly sleeping outdoors based on the dead animal perched on his head.
Either that or maybe Monica sold him some spray-on hair from QVC. Either way, it's not cute Mr. Washington. Why do you want to make me cry?
Zsa Zsa Gabor's had her leg amputated early last year because of a blot clot.
First of all, Zsa Zsa is old - 95 to be precise.
Apparently her Prince small-c-charming hubby neglected to tell her that she no longer has
two-legs. How is that even possible?
I'd imagine that he could have Carrie-Bradshawed her and left it on a Post-It. He claimed that he didn't tell her to protect her from the bad news. So to recap: she is missing a leg, apparently doesn't have the use of one hand, eats through a feeding tube, is 95-years-old, and he doesn't want to give her bad news? If she still had two legs, she'd Gabor his ass right out the door.
I have a confession, darlings.
I have a little-girl crush on the likes of Dennis Rodman. The NBA wild card has always been unpredictable and loopy, but there is something about his broken-ness that sends me.
Anyway, he was recently on some sports show, talking about still being relevant at 51. He is 51? Doesn't matter to me.
I don't know if the Rodman was having a bad day, but he looked like someone had just collected him from the lost and found at the bus station. Come on, Denny. Don't let me down.
Remember that guy that was in that movie with Julia Roberts? No, not Richard Gere. Rupert Everett. He was also in that horrible movie with Madonna (there are so many to choose from). Rup seems to think that people still care about what his fish-lipped mouth has to say. Even though he seems like an awful person, he believes the reason his career never Gered-off is because he likes boys. Whatever, my little crumpet. The reason your career isn't leading-man level is because you are a pill. What's your damage? Get off the bitter bus and come play in the sun.
Until next time lovelies...