Water coolers would not carry the same kind of weight in chatter if there werent a few (Wako) religions/cults out there to satisfy our communal interest of the fringe.
Last week, The Holy Spirit Association for the Unification of World Christianity, otherwise known as the Moonies, lost their loony leader, Sun Myung Moon, to multiple organ failure.
The church is most known for its blessing ceremony, a mass wedding that features thousands of participants. The ceremony is for engaged or married couples. The members believe that the couple will be removed from the lineage of sinful humanity and engrafted into Gods sin-free lineage.
Makes sense to anyone? Dont worry, it isnt supposed to.
Now the church and its alleged millions of followers find themselves Messiah-less. So whats a Moonie to do? His wife, Hak Ja Han or one of his children is apparently preparing to step into daddys big Moon-boots.
Over here in North America, another group that consistently raises eyebrows are the Scientologists.
With the recent split of extraterrestrial acting android Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, the church is allegedly scrambling to find the handsome (yet crazy) leading man some arm candy. The church is leaving no (asteroid) unturned to ensure their celeb saint doesnt end up marrying a snaggle-tooth.
The church went through this same process on the heels of Nicole Kidman running for the hills and leaving Tommy in the dust. Scientologists tend to audition women much the same way Disney casts its Goofy or Cinderella.
Vanity Fair magazine scored huge six years ago when Suri Cruise and her beautiful parents graced the cover, but now the magazine is taking a different turn when covering the Cruise controversy, by putting more light on the pseudo-religion/sci-fi-movie-plot.
The church of course denies that it meddled in Mavericks lovelife, but according to Maureen Orths cover article, its hard to tell who is telling the truth.
The woman is question is an Iranian-beauty, Nazanin Boniadi, she was trained (in what?) extensively and had her teeth straightened before meeting Mr. Cruise.
Is the entire congregation so hideous that Tommy needs helps landing a girl? Seems a little excessive.
To break it down, Scientology teaches that people are immortal beings who have forgetten their true nature. Its method of spiritual rehabilitation is a type of counselling known as auditing, in which practitioners aim to consciously re-experience painful and traumatic events in order to free themselves of their limiting effects.
Did you feel like you just read a string of words that make little no no sense? Its OK - thats common when learning about Scientology.
Once you give away almost all of your life savings, you get to read the mystical teachings, aka - the really really crazy stuff.
Among these is the darling story of Xenu. He (it?) is a tyrant ruler of the Galactic Confederacy. According to this story, 75 million years ago Xenu brought billions of people to Earth in a spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and detonated hydrogen bombs in the volcanoes.
Have you stopped chuckling yet?
The thetans (Scientologys version of a soul or a spirit), stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to do this today. Scientologists at advanced levels place considerable emphasis on isolation and neutralizing the ill effects of thetans.
That was a mouthful of nonsense.
Is anyone else looking around for Starbuck or perhaps Captain Kirk to save us all from this inter-Galactic kerfuffle?
Apparently we are all supposed to buy into the (ridiculous) notion that its a coincidence the celebrities that have really made Scientology what it is today, are also linked to some rather unsavoury rumours - Scientologys two princes being: Tom Cruise and John Travolta. Cruise, just off his divorce to Holmes is already searching the planets to find another lovely mate. Meanwhile, Johnny seems to have missed the grade-school lesson about keeping your hands to yourself.
Here is some life advice: Should you come across a Moonie or Scientologist, you must make the split-second decision, whether to pick their brain or run for your life. The choice is yours.
Live long and prosper.
-- Associate news editor Ashley MacDonald