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Monday, December 1, 2008
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‘Who can you talk to?’ |
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Written by FRANK PEEBLES
Citizen staff
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Sunday, 05 October 2008 |
Frank Wood and Zonia Wood at a support group for parents that have children deployed in Afghanistan. (Citizen photo by Brent Braaten)
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FORESTRY MUSEUM
The invitation was extended by the Railway and Forestry Museum. The museum's new general manager Ranjit Gill, newly arrived from Calgary, facilitated the small event after she met a family who had a member serving in Afghanistan.
"I realized that there was no military base here so there would be no Military Family Resource Centre either," sand Gill who used to be associated with the MFRC in Calgary. "I decided I would open up the invitation, I felt these families needed to have some support from one another like they do in places where they have a MFRC. I knew the museum could be helpful for this."
The families who did come were happy they did. The media was not permitted to attend the meeting but Zonia and Frank Wood volunteered to come outside and talk about the experience of meeting other families in their situation. Their daughter, Petty Officer 2nd Class Leelyn Park of the Royal Canadian Navy's supply and services division, is in Afghanistan now for her second tour of duty there.
"Who can you talk to and bounce things off of?," said Zonia Wood, "And meeting these people shows us we are not alone in this. It is important to know there are others. I think it has already helped. We have already shared with the other families."
It was hard for the Wood couple to hold their emotions, but they also felt that in this setting it was perfectly acceptable to let the tears flow and say some darker words that they normally have to hold inside in regular company. They quickly understood, said Mr. and Mrs. Wood, that each of those in the room with them had the same range of emotions: unspeakable fear, confusion and anxieties that sometimes kept them up and night, but massive pride and a clear understanding that the mission was a vital one for world peace. They didn't like that it was at the expense of their personal peace, however.
"I think our sons and daughters tell their parents what they think their parents want to hear; Leelyn tells us all about how she is not in harm's way," said Frank. "Sometimes, as a parent, I think you'd want to know the truth about what they are really facing, but as a parent maybe also you wouldn't want to know if they ever told you. There is nothing you can do to help or hinder."
He called his daughter a hero and said that word applied to anyone who made the choice to fight tyranny perhaps at the cost of your own life. It is a choice he, a practicing priest, doesn't understand either as a man of God or a dad, nor does Zonia.
"Our little granddaughter is only six and we asked Leelyn how she was handling mommy going away for so long and she said 'she'll be fine once she gets used to it' but I don't think a child ever gets used to a parent being gone for a long duration," Zonia said.
"As a civilian, I don't think I would put myself in harm's way to be a priest or whatever my job might happen to be, but when your job is being a soldier it is amazing how clear it is to them that this is what the job is, it is instilled in their minds that this duty is there for them to perform because others will not," Frank said. "Maybe the public hasn't accepted that what Canada is doing right now is waging a war, we not peacekeepers in Afghanistan, we are there to go get the enemy and fight for us, but the soldiers over there certainly know that is what this is: a war."
They said one of the common things said in the room of loved ones left on the home front was wishing there was more contact with their sons and daughters. The deployment does not have good communications infrastructure so calls and emails are not frequent or regular.
It was also said by almost all that parents, spouses, children and other loved ones left behind could do little more than hope for their safe return, pray for it, and when times of contact do take place to cherish it with love and support from home so they understood over there in a hostile place that there was peace and love for them somewhere and that they were fully supported.
Gill said the group will undoubtedly grow as future meetings are held. The turnout was so positive that she is already planning follow-ups.
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 05 October 2008 )
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